Monthly Archives: February 2012

Where is the eject button?

The reason I am going to kill myself is two-fold: Wait. Let’s stop right there. You know what the worse thing about being a parent is? You can’t even kill yourself. When on my own, I could daydream about killing … Continue reading

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I believe I may have given you the wrong impression

A few people have asked me if I am on the verge of killing myself, and so I need to confess: I am more joyful now than I have ever been in my entire life. I have finally stopped swimming … Continue reading

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Hey homies

I’ve had like five or six glasses of wine and I’m listening to Coldplay, so. You know. I know this makes me uncool. I have a news update: College. Do you know that college was like a decade ago? Where … Continue reading

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Secret dreams of a homesteading mother

I don’t want to push a certain kind of lifestyle on my children. I fully expect them to pack their bags and move to the city the moment they turn 18 and never come back. They’ll likely be repulsed by … Continue reading

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Pantry Roll Call!

Tomato sauce: 3 pints Stewed tomatoes: (Awkward silence) Green beans: 3 pints Peaches: … Strawberry preserves: 3 half pints Bruschetta: 3 pints Apple butter, assorted jams: 6 pints We didn’t take a photo this year, but we had almost twice … Continue reading

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What I’m Eating 2012

I took the opportunity to break down my average daily caloric intake for you. You’re welcome.

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Avoid becoming a miserable house troll with these five easy excuses.

I don’t clean on the weekends. I mean, sometimes I pick up. But I take the weekends to relax (Read: Run to every activity imaginable) and enjoy my children instead of pretending to enjoy them while I’m on house duty … Continue reading

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Ladies: Take YEARS off with these simple ingredients

Dear ladies of the universe: A Public Service Announcement. There are times when the faithful men of Knox County, Ohio will not be available at the moment you, the damsel, are in distress. Should you experience a flat tire, and … Continue reading

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