SAHM Day Four: A rant, in draft post form, published late. It’s like a sonnet. Only more boring.

I forgot that the reason you have a cleaner house when someone is staying at home is because SOMEONE STAYS HOME TO CLEAN IT ALL DAY EVERY DAY.

When you’ve stopped leaving the house to gallivant in front of Facebook all day at the office, contrary to what you might think, there’s a surprising feeling that you must learn to let go of: The feeling of clean.

Normally, when my house is clean, it is a rare feeling that comes after at least an entire day of manual labor, if not two—and therefore, there are at least a few days after I have achieved the state of CLEAN where I am obsessively picky about putting things back immediately. Eventually, this fades and the dirt piles up to the point where I have to clean for several days in a row to get it presentable.

Repeat.

Despite the fact that I have reached a point in my life where I can pick up a little each day, there is still that feeling of hard-earned victory at the sight of a freshly wiped countertop. Or a floor that’s devoid of crumbs. And in this hallowed space there are no interruptions with phone calls and work stuff, so I have nothing else to do but become upset the instant Molly rubs a graham cracker in the rug or when Seth comes home to crumble eggshells all over the kitchen floor for some reason.

I need to let go of that feeling: The feeling of holding on the CLEAN. Either that or I am going to go insane before the leaves start to turn. Before the end of my first week of unemployment, perhaps.

SAHM Day Four: Lesson 1

Unless we are naked, there will always be laundry.

Unless we are dead, there will always be crumbs, coffee mug rings and dirty milking utensils.

Might as well just worry about the major battles and try to live my damned life a little, huh?

After all, this family needs me to be alive. I am their rock. The EXACT SAME MESSES that I picked up yesterday aren’t going to just … tidy up themselves tomorrow!

 

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