The Vapors

I need to change the name of this blog to “Every Other Month.”

A whole backlog of pregnancy misadventures, home invasions, thefts, dedications of firstborn children to God, etc. etc.

But first, it’s time for blog readers to play Web MD again.

Let’s run down the list one more time:

Since Dec. 2008:

Three (3) pregnancies

One (1) birthed child

One (1) boggy uterus

One (1) surgical removal of tumor

Nine (9) months of breastfeeding

Three (3) months of no sleep

Nine (9) months of motherhood

Two (2) months of regular exercise

One million (1,000,000) days of sick. WTF?!

My mom says that bodies are like mules, and if you push them harder then they want to be pushed at the moment, they just sit down. This is her official diagnosis for what I like to call The Vapors.

Ever since Molly was born, (In fact, it began the morning she was born) periodically my ears will start ringing, my eyes will cloud over with white, and I will crumple onto my knees or back or, when it’s really bad, I’ll have to lie down completely.

I’ll sit there for a while until I can move again. Then I’ll get up and feel uneasy the rest of the day while people tell me I look pale and sickly.

I know what you’re thinking.

“Go to the doctor.”

But here’s the thing. I don’t have a family doctor. I have a boob doctor and an OB, but no geneneral practitioner. So when I call around for one, they say, “Come in and do paperwork and we’ll try to get you on the schedule in 2-3 weeks.”

I say, “Meh. Forget it.” And then I do. Until the next episode of The Vapors.

I’m sure it has something to do with blood pressure dropping, a poor diet, little exercise and the adventures of mommyhood/pregnancy.

Has anyone ever heard anything like this before?

Anyway, I’m going to go to the doctor in a few weeks, and I’m going to try to start living like I’m growing another person (prenatal vitamins are probably NOT a cure-all) but in the meantime, I am curious.

Does this sound familiar to anyone? How long have I got to live?

The good news is that I’ve met my deductible for the year, so I can have as many free brain surgeries as I want between now and December. Who wants to go to the ER with me?

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  • Ben

    My cousin had something like this happen to her. It was just low blood pressure. She still deals with it from time to time I think.

  • MomX3

    It sounds like you are suffering from being pregnant while being a new mom. I had that a few times, it gets better. Change your diet, get more sleep and exercise and see a doctor to rule out anything glandular. If you don’t have time, make time because a sickly mom won’t be very good for anyone.

  • bufilicous

    Sounds a little orthostatic hypertension-ish. In normal language, bouts of low blood pressure. It might also have to do with low blood sugar. Snack (preferably healthy) every few hours to keep your sugar level. Don’t get up quickly from laying or sitting. Dangle. By that I mean when you are laying down, dangle your feet off the side of the bed for a few minutes before you get up. Helps keep the head rush down. Besides that, obviously see a pcp. Hope that helped a little.

  • Jason FIsher

    Definitely sounds like orthostatic hypotension. Dangling your feet and standing up slowly will help with your symptoms as @bufilicous noted. Need to see your physician, especially since you are postpartum and this is new for you.