Reports from the nest

They tell me that it’s Wednesday, and that it’s afternoon time.

Molly and Seth are cuddling on the bed, and Maybel is now sleeping on the floor. (That’s right — Maybel a.k.a. “Big Sis” practically almost volunteered to sleep on the floor from now on. I have no idea how we averted this potential transitional crisis without whining, barking and other forms of acting out. God must love us too much.)

Minus a few “Life Alert” moments where Seth had to scrape me off the floor ’cause of the dizzies, everything has been very, very smooth. Suspiciously smooth.

Molly is eating and pooping and sleeping the rest of the time, and my milk has come in, which is a relief. My entire life, my breasts have brought nothing but shame and disappointment. I have to give them credit for this: They are making food! Borderline too much of it! Take that, middle school boys who made chants about them on the school bus!!! Avenged!!!

Our pattern is developing. Molly is feeding every four hours for about 20-40 minutes, and Seth normally changes her before (she refuses to eat without a clean diaper) and we try to get some ZZZs in between, but I’m finding myself staying up admiring every little coo and purr and colostrum barf. I have no idea how Seth and I are functioning without sleep. It’s just like we don’t need it or something. Where does lost sleep go?

Physically, my body feels like it’s recovering from some sort of horrible fight with an opponent who fights very dirty. But emotionally, I feel really happy all the time. Not sure how long this lasts, but I’m lovin’ it.

"Seriously? You live 50 miles from the hospital? What is wrong with you?"

I have been taking it pretty easy after yesterday morning, when I got cocky and attempted to shower by myself. Huge mistake. My blood count must apparently still be a little sub par because Seth had to come get me out of the floor of the shower. I have never been so thankful that we have not yet remodeled the bathroom because it’s equipped with one of those old lady showers with the huge support bars and is practically level with the ground.

Since then I have rarely moved off the couch or bed, although I just got busted for doing the dishes a few minutes ago. Mundane tasks are like, HUGE accomplishments all of a sudden. Like, “Today, I’m going to wash four plates.” Mission Accomplished.

These are things that every other parent already knows. You can enjoy how naive I am about everything.

I sent Seth out this morning to rent a breast pump and to buy some stool softeners. Every time I look at him I fall more in love. Same with this little potato head on his chest.

I am going to have a hard time not posting 6,000 pictures per minute on Facebook.

Knox County's finest tomato

I’m everything I promised I wouldn’t be. Here is a link to the photos they took in the hospital, which are pretty hilarious. If there is a password, I think that it is Teter. We thought they’d snap a photo and be on their way, but they made the poor girl pose in, like, eight different positions and she was pretty much ready to go home at that point. You can buy a mousepad or a Christmas bulb with all these. Don’t forget your commemorative decorative Molly Mae plates?

So, what’s going on in your world?

Are we going to war or something? And what’s up with Tiger Woods?

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  • Mae

    Seriously? Her cuteness factor is blowin’ up!

  • Lisa

    I have been imagining this for you ever since I first met you. So glad it’s finally here! :)

  • Jaydubs

    So much cuteness. And do my eyes deceive me, or are those bunny slippers on her lil’ footsies?

  • Dennis
  • Dennis

    deleting from favorites…

  • Jaydubs

    Aw, just pretend like Molly Mae’s a hairless Corgi, Dennis, and you’ll do just fine.

  • Monsterbeard

    Is it weird for a baby to want to eat with a clean diaper? That makes a lot of sense.

    Like… I try not to eat while on the toilet. Sorry. I have to bring everything down to my level