Because I’ve been slacking on the Gratuitous Picture of Your Abdomen Sunday, I honestly have no idea how many weeks pregnant I am right now.
This frightens me.
If I don’t blog, life doesn’t happen.
This is a list of the things that I do know for sure:
1.) This is a picture of Seth and I at a Brown’s game last November. I was pregnant in this photo, although I did not yet know this was the case.
2.) It is almost November, and I am still pregnant. I have been pregnant for … well. You can do the math. And I will continue to be pregnant for a mysterious number of weeks well into the future. This has me convinced of two things: Pregnancy is an endless chasm, and time can be lost in one or two good blinks. I hope I did a lot of blogging this year.
3.) I am going to die of swine flu. Or from complications related to the toxins in the swine flu vaccine. Either way, I’m pretty sure somebody’s AT LEAST getting autism. And my womb has been politicized. Mostly on Facebook.
4.) After weeks of peace on the Teter ranch, the mothafuckin hawk is back. Sound the air sirens.
He nature’s manifestation of our increased anxiety/impending doom. And he always kills the Golden ones. There’s imagery of Biblical proportions here, folks. Don’t think it hasn’t been lost on me.
5.) The stairs!
6.) The nursery!
7.) A Baby!
8.) Debt collectors?
9.) I’m out of deodorant.
I hope to put a picture of my abdomen on the Internet later tonight. Only then can balance be restored to the universe.
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