GPOYAS has been hijacked by GPOYAT. It seems I forgot to document the precise moment the preggers gauge flipped over to 29 weeks. How will the Internet respond?!
For the sake of those who spend their hours with me, I need to figure out how to say “I feel fat and annoyed for some reason,” in a different language. You know, to mix it up a little bit.
Before I got knocked up, I promised myself I wouldn’t complain or waddle or overdramatize. I would spend the majority of my time moving fertile-y from summer meadow to summer meadow. I would interrupt this journey only to harvest baskets of vegetables or something.
“How does she do it?!” They would all ask. “Deep into her pregnancy, she shows no sign of wear.”
I fear that reality might not be lining up with my ideal. But I’m okay with that. It’s actually a blast to creak around all moany-like all the time. To discover the fine line between burping and puking. To be completely controlled by urine. It keeps life interesting.
Plus, something magic just happened. A milestone!
Seth is adorable the way he freaks out every time he feels the baby move. Moments ago, for example, he placed his hands upon my tummy and shouted, “SHE BIT ME!” which is hilarious … mostly because he might actually believe that if I told him it could happen.
Shortly after Baby Tot bit Seth, I felt something jab into my ribs for the first time! I’m not yet able to discern body parts — feet, elbows and fists seem to have the same poky feel to me — but I think that might’ve been a FOOT! The only other thing I can discern is the skull that likes to poke toward the bottom of the belly. I feel weird about shoving it back in.
“Mind the fontanel,” as Holly Hunter likes to remind me.
HOW CRAZY IS THIS?!
Oh, and the stranger’s comments have been PRICELESS. They range from the not-nearly-frequent-enough, “You are the cutest pregnant woman I have EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE,” (hint: This never fails) to the one-of-a-kind turkey references. Oh, the turkey references.
My social experiment proves that 4 of 5 people will make a turkey reference if you tell them you are due around Thanksgiving. It’s so cute to watch their faces when they make a turkey joke. They are so satisfied. I bet it looks a lot like the face of a pregnant woman, who has just been told she is THE CUTEST PREGNANT WOMAN IN GLOBAL HISTORY.
It’s the small little things we do as public servants.
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