Journalism is…

You guys know that I love journalism, right?

I love it because for once in your life, you don’t have to speak like a flippin’ marketer. But for all the straight-talk, we seem to unfairly present our livelihoods as more important than they are. It can’t be all ABCs of Betrayal all the time, kiddos.

I work for an alt-weekly, so I’m not sure if I count as a journalist, but.

Here are some insights. For the uninitiated:

Journalism is making friends with the kind of person who will call and tell you that the deputy director of finance got drunk and arrested before anyone else can blog about it.

Journalism is holding fast to a weird sense of entitlement (your job is mentioned in the Bill of Rights!)  as you  double-check the spelling of your fifteenth interviewee at the village of Sunbury’s 15th Annual Easter Egg hunt. In the rain.

Journalism is knowing the following things are bad, without intelligently articulating why: 1. Halliburton. 2. Petland 3. Factory Farms 4. Inside millage

Journalism is answering the question, “How do you feel now that your loved one is unexpectedly deceased?”

Journalism is a strange, hand-written note sent in an unmarked envelope.

Journalism is deciding which unconfirmed blog rumor to take “mainstream.”

Journalism is pretending you’re not writing the same quotes that have been running for the past 40 years.

Journalism is skipping to Step Three.

Journalism is the least expensive suit in the room.

Journalism is retiring 20 years from now, reluctantly, as a mouth piece.

Journalism is acting unimpressed by the free, front row seats.

Hey journalists! What do you think journalism is? Fair and unbiased answers only, please.

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  • dammitbilly

    …getting into bars without paying cover, cause the bouncer reads your stuff.
    …getting to hear your friend in the next cubicle say things like “Integrity? Integrity’s for suckers.”
    …getting to call Andrea Cambern to confirm about unsubstantiated rumors that she may or may not have been drunk on champagne and danced on a bar-top all night.

    Just sayin’.

    • dammitbilly

      i wish i would’ve proofread that before sending it.