Cutting you off

Is it me, or is the blogging out of control lately?

It’s just that I have so many thoughts. Thoughts that are worthy of sharing. And my life happens. You know how it goes.

I realized recently that I have streaming live everywhere–at Salon, on Facebook, a few random hosted “Look at meblog!” sites.

I hoped doing this would make me famous, but it hasn’t thus far. All it does is make it difficult to keep track of who is commenting where. What? Where are you from? Didn’t we already talk about this? Did we go to high school together?

I think I need to consolidate. And YOU need to get used to visiting the Original as much as possible. After all, I invest $8.99 in this domain every year.

This way I can get fired, get famous, have kids and miscarriages and get paid to write about it full time. Then I can write a book and go on, I dunno. A book tour? And Seth and I will get to stay home with the kids all day and take pictures of their heads and I’ll have 5 million people look at my site every month. And Time magazine will honor me as the Most Influential Woman Ever, but I won’t let it get to my head. Because I am a humble blogger.

Seriously. How do you get that life?

Because my life is way more interesting than dooce. At least present-day dooce. Of course, she did get institutionalized. But I had the ferel cats! And Shitstorm 2007! Remember that time I slaughtered a pig?!?!

Crap. Methinks it’s too late.

So, I’m going to consolidate next week. You have seven days to reset your browsers. Adjust your RSS feeds. Stop being lazy and getting it all through Facebook. Increase my hits. Make me famous. Do it. You’ll get something in return. From Heaven, probably. Some kind of heavenly reward. I’m sure of it.

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  • Kyle Sisk

    All the cool kids are being Guest Columnists on my blog (either with their real name or under a pseudonym).

    I’m up to ~1,500+ hits a day and if you write as a Guest Columnist I will shamelessly pimp to try to get you some more readers :-)

    Come on…please…do it…come on…peer pressure…peer pressure…

    Please succumb to my peer pressure & begging ;-)


  • Allison

    does it get tracked if I read you through google reader?

  • JMc

    I was gonna ask the same thing. I get the feed (feed:// in my rss reader on my safari browser. Does that count or do I have to actually come to your dotcom?

  • theteet

    hehe … i’m such a tyrant! yes, i’m pretty sure readers and RSS feeds do get tracked.
    thanks for all you do for :)

    i would be more than happy to talk about registering for baby stuff or fending off ferel cats. other than that, i don’t have much to contribute to the politico blog-o-sphere. if i can work up something, you’ll be the first to know :)

  • Kyle Sisk

    Fending off ferel cats sounds like a wonderful blog post! Or maybe fending off ferel cats WITH baby stuff…I’m positive that would make a great YouTube video…
    The teet fends off ferel cats with nothing, but a rattle and a tickle me elmo…story at 11!!!

  • Jaydubs

    I read I promise.

    Also: FERAL. You’re not going to get to the top if you can’t spell it right.

    (Sorry, I’m in copy editing mode.)