Steter Speaks

Two things happened in 2004. In August, I got married. In October, I started a blog.

Because Steter and I have a slightly longer and legally binding relationship than and I, I occassinally have to honor his wishes. That can be complicated at times, because, well … this is Steter’s Facebook profile. You will notice that his photo is a weed. His wall is not enabled to accept comments.

Seth is a very private person who winces and suffers physical pain nearly every time he points his browser to Of the 800-some posts, about 30 percent of them have prompted him to say, “TAKE THAT OFF THE INTERNET!”

You might have noticed that I am not exactly wired the same way. My philosophy is more open. More fearless. More heroic. My pastor shared a quote that sums it up perfectly:

In his “Parochial and Plain Sermons” of 1876, the great English churchman John Henry Newman urged Christians to dare to communicate honestly with one another. He saw in people’s inclination to not speak freely about their innermost selves the cause for emptiness in many people’s religion.  “Perhaps the reason,” Newman said, “why the standard of holiness (i.e. belonging to God-ness”) among us is so low, why our attainments are so poor, our view of the truth so dim, our belief so unreal, our general notions so artificial and external, is this, that we dare not trust each other with the secret of our hearts.”

And then when I use Christianity to justify my self-indulgent blogger bullshit, Seth gets all the more frustrated with me. It’s a wonder that he hasn’t murdered and buried me on the farm to silence the constant keyboard-banging that eminates from my precious, precious hands.

Occasionally, because I like to embellish, and because Seth is the human I interact with the most on this planet, he will cry out into the void that he is the victim of hyperbole. Or that I don’t talk about subject in a thoughtful way on my blog. Or that I make bad choices that reflect poorly on the family. With way too many eff words.

Through tears and electronic exchanges during the day (it’s embarassing to fight or cry about blogging over the phone while at work, fyi) we all have decided that it would be impossible for me to NOT talk about life of the farm. Seth moved me out in the country knowing full well that I was a blogger. He is a realist, and he does not expect for a chicken to die or become maimed and for me to … just … NOT to talk about it????? *shudder*

In order to combat this erroneous and slanderous web broadcast that is, I am installing a check and balance. This new segment is called “Steter Speaks.”

It will appear whenever Seth reads my blog and decides that damage control is necessary because of my thoughtless or full-of-lies posting. I think will benefit from this new feature.

For the visual representation of Steter Speaks, I wanted to use one of the following illustrations:

I think, therefore I have a headache
‘I think, therefore I have a headache’
i am intense in a way the makes puppies uncomfortable

'i am intense in a way the makes puppies uncomfortable'

Even the lonely sea bird is frightened by my presence

'Even the lonely sea bird is frightened by my presence'

I have ideas

'I have ideas'

 Instead, Seth chose the photo below. I’m not sure why he’s drinking.

Here is the first installment, which was written because Seth is not cruel to animals, as implicated in my previous post.



STETER SPEAKS: Oh please. Our chickens get fresh water every day. I move them to fresh grass at least twice a day. They have shade to avoid the 90 degree sun. We are more predator proof than ever. Does this make my chickens happier than those in cages? No. Does it make me happy to see a flock of chickens scratching around my backyard? Absolutely.

(To clarify, we are raising meat chickens, which are almost always raised in cage free barns. Laying hens are more often kept in cages)

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  • Shelby

    Ah, sweet teet, you always satisfy me with your fabulously expressive nectar.

  • megan

    I feel I must comment on Mr. Teter’s eloquent words, but I am so distracted by the fact that you FINALLY just blogged about your hands!!!

  • jaydubs

    Best. Idea. Ever.

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