i love my doctor.
the people who surround her are frustrating at times, but the moments i have her all to myself are always encouraging. she’s a perky little blond who does a great job of making me believe that she really cares. if she doesn’t, and if she closes the door behind her and rolls her eyes or something, i would be genuinely surprised. gaw … and to deal with pregnant women all day long, each assuming they’re the first one in the history of the world to give birth … ugh. i admire her sweetness all the more.
anyway, i went to the doctor today. but not for the thing growing inside my uterus. well, sort of. which reminds me.
keeping a secret blog is lame, so, as a warning, i’m going to be documenting the weird alien science that’s going on inside my body right here on theteet.com. i will try to remember to preface each section, in true pregnancy message board fashion, with glitter warnings:
so if you see something like this, fellas, please take heed. cause it’s about to
so, today i went to the doctor because i found a lump in my breast! i probably don’t have cancer, which is good. i mean, that’s one less thing, right? i have to get an ultrasound to make sure, which they’ll schedule for probably early next week. (why does my boob get an ultrasound before my uterus!? what’s a girl got to do to ….)
initially, the discover was a bit unnerving, (read: ‘how long have i got to live, doc?’) but Google revealed this is very common during pregnancy, and the doctor confirmed this today, saying that they’ll have to keep an eye on it, because lumps and bumps tend to get huge during pregnancy. maybe it’ll finally help me fill out a B-cup!
while we’re at it, here’s a quick update on the whole baby thing:
1.) the wheels have not yet fallen off.
2.) things move along a lot faster when you’re not constantly obsessing about when to spill the beans. wow. if you just tell everyone when you see them, or when there’s a lull in normal conversation, there’s much less anxiety about who knows in what order and when should i post it on Facebook and what if that co-worker knows before grandma, etc. etc.
i didn’t realize how stressful of a process that had been in the first round. i prefer this formula, (“oh, yeah … don’t get excited but we’re pregnant again.”) MUCH better.
3.) we’re in about 7 weeks of this game, and God is rewarding my faith with lots of weirdness! praise jesus! the nausea that welcomed me home in the evening last week has now crept up to consume the whole day!!
you know that terrible queasy hangover feeling? where you’re dragging-ass tired, your mouth constantly fills with drool and NO FOOD sounds good whatsoever? you just want to stay in bed until it’s over? that’s theteet @ 7 weeks pregnant! hurray!
except it’s not going to be over for a few more weeks. and it doesn’t make sense that the go-to greasy foods that normally cure hangovers aren’t working, either. i’ll take one bite and i’ll have to spit it out. now, i love food, so this is really hard for me. i even had to give the chickens my DOUBLE CHEESEBURGER, which i’ve never not been able to choke down. the only thing that worked today was a jelly donut. food is gross.
4.) except for sushi, which i totally forgot i wasn’t supposed to eat until it was too late. i might eat it again.
5.) but i say bring it on.
i LOVE LOVE LOVE that i feel like crap. and although it’s not a guarantee, the doctor says it’s all positive signs that the hormones are in there doing what they’re supposed to be doing, meaning, ruining your life! admittedly, this would all be much less tolerable if i hadn’t experienced the alternative. i am sorta close to forgiving those evil women who complain about morning sickness. sorta. talk to me in 3 weeks.
5.) at my gyno, there aren’t ultrasounds until 12 weeks. that’s just procedure. some practices are rubbing goo on the bellies at 6, 7, 8, 9 … at just about every week until you pop the thing out. the good thing about waiting is that there’s kind of a don’t-ask, don’t-tell policy going on inside my uterus. if there’s a dead baby in there, i don’t want to know about it.
and if that’s the case, the only way i’d find out about it is if i had an ultrasound or started miscarrying naturally.
if you find out your baby is dead in there before your body starts to get rid of it naturally (which can take weeks) then there’s this traumatizing procedure where you have to have it scraped out of you, or you have to take a pill that might induce you several days later. and even though the scraping procedure is outpatient, they still do unnerving things like, “well … let’s just check for the heartbeat one more time to make sure…” and other equally earth-rattling things.
that’s the roundabout way of saying:
most women are slathering up their bellies the minute they get the go-ahead to get an ultrasound. i’m not sure i’m in that camp anymore. as much as i want to get in there and see if there’s a heartbeat, what i don’t know can’t hurt me.
i’ll have peace of mind if there IS a heartbeat, and a world of hurt and probably nothing too natural if there’s not.
but here’s the ultimate temptation:
because i had a miscarriage, i qualify for the super-early ultrasound. like, next week if i wanted. can you imagine?! but i scheduled it for 9-and-a-half weeks because i have incredible physical and emotional restraint. or i’m putting it off. there’s some sort of psychoanalysis there if you want it.
the doctor said at 8 weeks there’s just a white blob to look at. at 9, you start to see the baby’s shape, and there are a lot more fun things to look at. so we went with May 4. i’ll be 9-and-a-half weeks by then, if all goes as planned.
6.) for those of you who prayed “let teter be reassured by pregnancy signs,” consider your prayer answered.
7.) praise jesus.
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