my best chicken

chickens are creatures of habit. every evening at dusk they line up in order of dominance on their roost and we shut the door to protect them from a-hole souless chicken-killing predators. (not talking about humans this time.)

when one of them is missing from the line-up, it’s bad news.

last night our BEST chicken, Maybel The Chicken, was sleeping in the same nest box where we last saw the skunk. i thought it was a little weird, but didn’t worry too much about it. this morning, when everyone else was clucking at the door and fled the coop for breakfast, as they do every morning, she stayed behind in the same nest box. that is not a good sign. upon further investigation, we saw that she was bleeding on her breast and behind her wing. she was also breathing heavily, which is sort of a death sentence for a chicken.

emergency chicken care forums (see, only crazy people are willing to PAY for their chickens to get professional care) say that chickens often bounce back from insane injuries with a little alone time, some neosporin and fresh bedding. good thing we googled that before we culled her. we decided to give her a few days to bounce back. i hope we’re not delaying the inevitable and prolonging her suffering.


Maybel TC is our BEST chicken! we figured she was the one who would outlast the other, suckier chickens. she is our best layer, and gives us these huge, dark brown eggs. she even produced one this morning whilst on the brink of death, bless her heart. BAH!

but following our rooster’s death, (the two were in a romantic relationship, by the way) Maybel TC had adopted the roll of dominant nest protector (the Balls of the group, if you will) and had become very broody recently. I can easily imagine that she got in a little tussle with someone or something that wanted her eggs — perhaps she will avoid the same fate as Balls himself?

we’re starting to think that the weasel was wrongly accused.

the skunk doesn’t seem to outright go after the chickens, but rather, their eggs. if something gets in its way … at least, that’s the narrative i’m developing in my mind. i HATE not knowing who or what killed my chickens. I NEED ANSWERS. it doesn’t look good for the skunk that it was busted just at nightfall in the nest box. and Maybel TC was apparently injured before we locked the chickens up for the night.

so, if this is true, the skunk has accumulated a list of sins including

1. Balls

2. Stinking up our garage and property

3. Eating our eggs in front of us

4. Dodging our bullets

5. Attacking Maybel the Chicken 

NOT TO MENTION that it–or someone it knows–sprayed Maybel – TWICE!!!!

i am so pissed at this damn skunk that i’m going to go out there at 7 p.m. and wait for this little bastard to show up. but it will have the last laugh, because no matter how we kill it, it will stink up our property for 14 days. I don’t care. I will wrestle it.

I H8 SKUNK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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  • Anonymous

    ARGH! I hate that snipers are attacking your chicks! I am sorry. (I am sincerely happy that you share these stories with us. I am going to have to make a trip up there someday.)

  • Anonymous

    Oops, I wasn’t tryin to be covert up there.

  • andrew

    Not to get too geeky but it might be more fun for all of us if you setup some sort of chicken-cam, etc. While your writing is amazing and helps make me care that much more about your chickens I might also (being slightly insane myself) be willing to check in and see how your chickens are doing randomly. Then I could do your favorite thing ever – send you a tweet or write on your “”wall or similar if I happen to see said skunk come into the picture.

    Actually, have you seen the crazy online realtime hunting website. The one where you can essentially shoot weapons via the interwebs? Ok, sure, that might be taking it a little far.

  • jessm

    i am sad about maybel the chicken and about the skunk. good luck figuring this out friend.

  • theteet

    omg. i need a WEBCAM!

  • Rogue Agent

    The only organization that could inflict this much terror is “Quantum”. Refine the approach… An outdoor/wireless/web cam with nightvision tech is in order. Set the alarm function to activate an autodialer for our cell phones, route the transmission to a web page, viewers conduct a threat assessment and activate termination matrix.