Lil’Peckers: Meat-N-Greet?


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so, i’ve got to be honest.

seth and i were in a little bit of a panic because just after we have promised about 30 chickens to various kind-hearted souls, we had confirmed that our secret Amish chicken-killing family down the road had packed up and left town.

uh-oh.

so we weren’t ordering the little ones until we figured out how exactly we would get them to their home with Jesus. and into your freezer. 

this turned out to be sort of a blessing in disguise because we were considering various ways that we could do the dirty deed ourselves, and we learned a lot more about the process. (well … i did because seth actually took the birds to the site and accompanied them to their watery grave last year. i just came home to a freezer full of delicious and thought the birds magically turned that way after midnight or something)

BUT YESTERDAY!

yesterday was a marvelous day for many reasons, one of those being a special letter from the brand-new Plucky Poultry Processing company on Cullison Road (i’m not kidding) and the letter started out like this:

This is the time of year when we think about ordering chicks. And also the time you consider where to get them plucked, cleaned and ready for the grill or freezer.

GO ON!

It seems the Amos Schwartz family has acquired the equipment and the bloodlust along with the names and addresses of the Thompson family’s old customers! 

Hurray! I effing LOVE Knox County.

BUT HERE IS WHY YOU NEED TO PAY ATTENTION:

even though Amos & Co. offered their services to us, they also provided a tempting yellow note that indicated the we can RENT all the pricey equipment (normally about $2,700, i guess) for 24 hours for $40.

i could not help this next thought. just wait. it’s a choose your own adventure!

Jef Konzcal suggested what i think was a wonderful idea the other day — that we have interested parties up to Bangs for a “meat-n-greet” where you can come up to the farm and meet your dinner while it was still alive and happy on the farm, but more importantly, you would be able mingle with some like-minded people. i mean, if you are willing to let us grow your dinner for you, you’ve got to have at least one other thing in common, right? 

but those of you who have been up to my farm (i can say that now — we have 10 acres!) know my penchant for making people camp out by the fire. what if we had everybody up on a Friday night for dinner and camping, and then rented the equipment for a Saturday, and then … um … discreetly killed the birds while you ate breakfast (or helped!?) and then you could go home with a cooler full of delicious? maybe little children would cry?

ok. saying it sounds a little weirder than i thought.

i’m not a morbid freak.

i just think it’s important that you’re okay with all injustice that eventually fills your plate at dinner time. and injustices, there are ‘a many.

i have a better idea.

maybe this year we just start by offering an optional meat-n-greet after the birds are already processed (we’ll still have about a dozen live egg layers for you to greet, as well as a Class A selection of human beings, in my opinion) and we can advance to actually killing the birds ourselves (an important component in “Appreciating the Sacrifices that are Represented in Dinner,” i think) in the next round? 

oh, and we also learned that everything we’re doing is legal as long as we don’t sell more than 1,000 birds. which is good news, but also sort of scary. three cheers for no inspections!

blood or no, this would totally be something worth coming to Ohio for. i’m just sayin’  (otherwise, i could meet you in … uh … at the border? i’m not sure!)

i don’t know. i wanted to put it to a vote.

first, do you think you could do this?

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  • jaydubs

    Uh, I typically love hanging out at the ‘ol Teter homestead, but I think I’m gonna sit this one out. I will say it’s a brilliant idea, though — just make sure lil’ Kyle Jr. doesn’t get caught in the crossfire.

  • ssallade

    Oh no! Shackles, kill cones, bleeding out…oy. I may have just become a vegetarian. I can no longer live with blinders on, dang it.

  • theteet

    jaydubs — hahaha …. crap. i need to start putting a warning at the top for you.

    shelbs — i know, right?! and these chickens died in the NICEST way possible. some are not so lucky. i think this is why jaydubs gave up animal flesh in the first place.

    we meaters generally get off to easy, methinks. sorry for ruining your innocence. YOU KNOW TOO MUCH :’(

  • http://writtenbliss.blogspot.com lmariea

    Lin would be more than happy to help you kill the chickies, but I would have to sit inside and watch TV or something until post-mortem, I’m afraid. Unless you want Lisa vomit in your yard…

  • Jaydubs

    Ha, I didn’t actually watch the video — I’m self-aware enough not to do that!

    Anyway, I think you know my philosophy re: eating meat is that if you’re gonna do the crime, you should do the time, i.e., if you’re OK with eating flesh foods, than you shouldn’t shelter yourself from the process by which it becomes meat, so I wholly support the Meat & Greet.

  • thesleeperhit

    I would like to go to the Meat n’ Greet, but yeah, there’s no way I can watch that, much less participate. Bleh. It’s Ethics 101 and that infamous PETA video all over again.

  • http://elephantsonbicycles.com andrew

    Yeah, I’m in and I’ll help spill some blood. Wow, that sounds terrible but, well, I love chicken and I know from where it comes. I doubt the family will be willing to join me on this though.

  • colleen

    count me in. my dad will be proud.

  • MERLIN

    Yup, I’d be up for it. Do you have anything else you need butchered? :)

  • Jaydubs

    Once again, your blog is discriminating against me. Sob!!

  • http://senorcoconut.diaryland.com Michele

    I know we’ve only met once and everything, but I’m rather obsessed with this idea. I love those videos. So clean and practical! Yeah!

  • theteet

    i am cracking up at a whole host of things, including:

    1.) i thought it would be a good idea to have a party centered around animal slaughter (what has happened to me, honestly?), and

    2.) that there is such a range of responses to this idea.

    i love it that i have friends who are like “bring it on!!!” and others who are politely and appropriately horrified.

    i got a rare blog-specific call from my own mother last night, who expressed some initial concerns about a chicken killing party.

    i’m getting the sense that some are not okay with the injustices associated with the meal?

    or is it kind of like capital punishment? you see how it is important in a society, and you understand specifically how you benefit from it, but you don’t want to be the one to do it–or even watch it?

    anyway, let the voting continue. it’s neck and neck.

    oh, boy.

    (EDIT: jaydubs — i rescued your comments from spam again. i need to figure out how my blog can ‘trust’ you. i like that we both used prison metaphors.)

  • JMc

    ummmmm. ummmmmm. (trying to think of a good way to excuse myself). ummmm.

    Okay, I obviously don’t have a good excuse. Though I respect and am grateful for those who can, I just can’t do that.

  • http://lemonscarlet.diaryland.com jessi

    Hi. It’s me. When will this blessed event be taking place? I’m in- but I may not be in a condition to sleep by the fire…