Lil’Peckers II: This time YOU can play along!

Maybel watches over theteet's factory farm.

I’m getting ready to order our next round of spring chickens. Meat ‘n’ egg combo, anyone?

With that said, I’m going to try to sell you something. Only I’m not going to make any money from it. In fact, I probably will lose some, but it’s all part of sharing the load.

So, shopping around, it seems like whole organic chickens are usually $14-$20  per bird. $5 bucks pound!? Isn’t that insane?

As a community service, I’ve decided I’m going to raise some meat birds for those omnivores who care about the relative happiness of the meat they consume. I don’t know whether chickens are happier on larger farms or in my backyard, but I know that I am happier when I see them walking around in the sun eating bugs and grass. And isn’t MY happiness what it’s all about? Call me a hippy if you want to.

Since I’ve been blessed with the facilities, I’m envisioning selling these birds at cost. I’ll operate it something like Girl Scout Cookies. Let me know ahead of time how many you’d want, and you can pay me when I hand you a dead, plucked, gutted  and frozen bird in a plastic bag.

Stick a can of Pepsi up its butt and put it in the grill and you’ve got dinner for 4 with leftovers. (gggllllllllll    drooooooooool.) You can make stock out of the carcass … or you can deep-fry them … but we can talk about that later.


This could be YOUR freezer!

This could be YOUR freezer!

$10 a bird should cover all the costs of a 4-5 lb. bird (I’ll keep track and charge less if it ends up being less — and maybe give myself $1 in sweet, sweet profit for all those vacations I don’t take while I’m tending to your damn livestock, you lazy a-holes.)


I’m ordering them in March and they’ll be done about 8 weeks after they arrive as chicklets.

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Does anyone think this is a good idea? Does anyone WANT a chicken or ten? Leave a message or email me or carrier pigeon or whatev.

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  • monsterbeard

    I think when you put “life off the grid” on your blog your FBI file is immediately flagged for future reference, especially after the “teter empire” below.

  • Andrew

    Hey, I want in for, um, 3 and I’d gladly throw a couple extra duckets your way for the trouble. I don’t have your email (you probably like it that way) so drop me a note. Thanks!

  • Mae

    This is so perfect! I was totally planning on making chicken for dinner in early June! I’ll take two circles of life, please.

  • Meryl

    I’m in. I want a chicken after reading what you’ve written about how good they are. I would get more than one but I don’t think our dinky freezer could fit more. Can I get just one or is that hardly worth your trouble?

  • Jeffmac

    Oh heck yeah. I think three sounds good. But don’t lose money on the deal — I’ll toss in a couple extra $$ too.

  • lmariea

    I’ll chat with the man and get back to you on our investment!

  • megan

    Do you ship to D.C. or do I have to drive to effing BANGS?

  • Katie Meyer

    I don’t eat meat but I would ABSOLUTELY eat a Teter chicken. Put me down for one. I’ll figure out how to get it later :)

  • theteet

    I am so excited that people are going let me raise their chickens! You have NO IDEA how happy this makes me.

    I’m weird.

    Now, (in annoying NPR pledge-drive voice): Who’s gonna get us to 25 by the end of the hour?

    (They come in sets!!!)

  • Becky

    Way cool Lyndsey :) I would LOVE to let you raise my chickens :)

    How much more room do you have? Is there a maximum capacity for how many chickens you can have?

    The only other thing (head hanging in shame)-is I have no idea where Bangs is?

  • Jaydubs

    I am excited for the eggs (and Kyle Jr.’s long and healthy life on your homestead).

  • theteet

    hi, becky! we’ve got plenty of room yet. orders can come in between 1 and 100 :) seth and i took care of about 25 of them last year between the meat and the eggs — and we only have 4 egg chickens left, so i was planning a double or triple order this round.

    no problem about not knowing where bangs is. i was planning to bring them into town :)

    as for you, miss jaydubs, you’ll be a much sexier poultry pardoner than Gov. Palin. i imagine sending you updates of Kyle S. Chicken like the kind you get from those African kids you can adopt. is that an inappropriate joke? totally worth it.

  • Michele

    Do you ship to Chicago?

  • jessi

    I’m in! I’ll take 1-3 depending on how many you have left.

  • Rogue Agent

    Why is your file on my desk?