all day today i moved wheelbarrows of lathe to the fire pit. it was cold and then the sun when down.
amanda called to tell us that grandma is in the hospital. seizures maybe. or heart issues. i’m not sure how much longer she wants to stick around. it sounds morbid, but i’m just going on what she’s told us. it’s been rough for her since gramps passed. i don’t know how selfish it is of me to want her to be here forever. it couldn’t hurt to ask.
as we were baking cookies, our well pump fritzzed in time for us to miss decorating night at the church. i imagine it is warm in the church, and that there were cookies and singing.
instead, we were outside in the dark in the cold in the pit paying someone $125 to tell us our wires shorted out. also, our pipes are leaking. and what kind of dumb a-hole put that plumbing in that way in the first place? it has caused several similarly annoying circumstances. darn you, minor set-backs!
i don’t think we’ll ever get the house done. i don’t think i’ll ever walk in and not feel overwhelmed or buried. i’ll never have time to decorate for christmas. never have a tree. never drink hot chocolate at a table. nothing on the walls. it’s still cold.
oh, and it looks like no one wants to hang out with us on christmas day.
there was a moment earlier today when i was working in my carharts and the sun was setting and the snow was spitting slowly and the pile of work had shrunk by half and i felt wonderful. it wasn’t enough to carry me through. it should have been.
but i am angry.
today is 2007 all over again.
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