Lil’Peckers: DayOneHundredForty

weve got eggs!

we've got eggs!

Editor’s Note: This is Part Nine of our ongoing series about theteet’s foray into the world of the chicken farmer. Descriptions are graphic.

last night, as seth and i were cleaning our Back-Room-Turned-(GRRRR!)-Woodshop, we found a perfect brown egg nestled in a pile of sawdust.

ummm … i barely understand why a tablesaw is in our home. how did a chicken egg get in there again?

apparently the previous evening, Maybel TC came running into the house when we left the door open a crack. i guess when a girl’s gotta go, a girl’s gotta go.

we found two more eggs in a box full of sawdust on the backporch. she must find comfort in hickory shavings.

sadly, Maybel TC has become very much like the first girl in junior high to get boobs. every 10 minutes, Mary Ann Krauss (known in some social circles as “Balls,”) will chase her down and have sex with her in front of all the other chickens. those are those most fertilized eggs this side of the mason-dixon.

but the good news is that as long as the eggs are put into the refrigerator the day they’re laid, we won’t get (recognizable) baby chicks in our omelets. we’ll just have the scrambled placenta, thanks, which is much less gross in our culture for some reason.

maybel the chicken seen during her more innocent days

no longer a lady of the cloth: maybel the chicken seen during her more pious days

the lesson here is that we are bad chicken parents for not providing our pubescent chickens with a warm, dark place to lay their eggs. now they’ve resorted to scouting sawdust piles, banking on the opportunity to run into the house for a quick lay. realizing this, we built four small boxes with nests and put them in the hen house last night.

i just hope they learn to use them.

i saw Maybel TC eyeing some sawdust in the compost pile earlier this morning.

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  • Megan

    Wait. I thought that the eggs we eat were just those that did not have a chance to get fertilized. In other words, Maybel TC could still possibly be holding her V card? Where can we find this out?

  • theteet

    This is a FAQ, megan. i’m glad you asked.

    1.) Do chickens lay eggs and then the eggs are fertilized by the male or do chickens mate to fertilize the eggs?

    Roosters have nothing to do with egg-laying. Hens lay eggs no matter what. (When they are 6 months or older) Roosters do play a part in baby chicks though. If a hen doesn’t mate with a rooster then the egg will just be an egg, and could never possibly be a baby chick. If a rooster mates with the hen, the egg the hen lays can be incubated or sat on, and it will hatch. Only when a rooster mates with a hen is there a baby chick in the egg the hen lays.

    we will eat the baby chicken before it develops. it’s like Plan B for breakfast.

    development stops when the egg goes into the refrigerator. see this helpful, illustrated website.:

    as for the V-card, well. we’ve repeatedly caught her and the cock in the act. so to speak.

  • Andrew

    Did you name your chicken after UA Councilmember Mary Ann Krauss? I’d love to find eggs in my woodshop, were it that I had a woodshop setup and chickens around laying eggs…

  • Rogue Agent

    Is it possible that Mabel TC (tactical chicken) is avoiding a potential raid by raccoons. This could be an indicator of survival mechanisms far beyond what is currently documented. I bet the router table is booby-trapped.

  • theteet

    hola, andrew. welcome, welcome to the teet.

    i DID name my chicken after my favorite UA councilwoman. but there’s only one true MAK. all others are pale imitations, yes?

    rogue, you have enlightened me.
    i will alert the troops.