It should come as no surprise to anyone, but Seth hates TV.
He calls it ‘the idiot box’ and becomes physically ill whenever he walks in on me taking a quick peek at, say, a Sex and the City episode.
He hates reality TV worst of all, and can often be found reading a book downstairs or building something in the house when I am watching Steve Gutenberg TEAR UP on Dancing with the Stars.
That is why I was so caught off guard when I heard him shout from the workshop last night: “Are we missing Idol?!”
See, Seth is in love with Brooke White.
She’s no Bill Cohen, Barack Obama or Jon Husted, but Finally! Seth has a girl crush! It makes me feel less guilty for my vocal man crushes.
I do feel a little strange that all the girls he gets giddy over are just about the opposite of me when it comes to physical appearances: Cate Blanchett, the chick from the Cardigans, and Brooke, of course, among a whole host of blondes in the shape of an actual woman. Crap. The only brunettes he has shown affection for are the Knox County Coroner, (we still have her campaign literature on the fridge, I think) and Khallia Perrin.
Anyway, we were watching last night, and I started taking mental notes. He may dispute these quotes, but most of them came in the heat of the moment. Plus, with DVR, he can rewind her performance and watch it over and over again. And he does:
“She is my sunshine.”
“She makes me feel warm … like a bunch of bluebirds are trying to burst out of me.”
“I just want to write her a letter.”
“I bet she smells like those phrases on fabric softeners. Only I bet she really does smell like a lavender waterfall.”
“She’s like the springtime in a woman-shaped bottle.”
“No, no. It’s not that I want to have sex with her,” he said, as I was trying to explore his attraction to her. “It would be more of a pollination …. The wind would flow over my stamen.”
…and that last one has a hand gesture that goes with it.
I’m not sure who is going to be more devastated when she is voted off. I’ll lose my temporary TV partner.
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