it’s hard to be a woman. and married. and totally crazy.

i’m mad because i couldn’t find my shoe or my car keys and there is no sugar at the coffee station again this morning because our publisher is on vacation and he determines our rations but i mean come on, just put out two containers before you leave i mean cripes and i need to do laundry and this bra is terrible but we can’t use the washer for four days because it’s in front of the tiny patch of floors we have left to seal in this never-ending floor-sealing process and my shoe is probably in the front seat of my husband’s car, but he didn’t look carefully when i asked him to this morning after he got me up early and then decided at the last minute to drive in separately and last night i went to the state of the city address and it was late and i was downtown so i went to my starbucks and the hung out at the book loft and it was so lovely until i remembered that i had to drive home for like 96 minutes because my husband is crazy and brainwashed me into believing that it would be a good idea to move halfway to cleveland and it’s really not fair because i got to live in columbus only for a few years and i would have liked to have stayed longer and then when i called him about the shoe he said it ‘might be in there … i didn’t look very hard,” which is mean, because if you leave town with someone else’s shoe in your car, you should be more concerned about it and also i feel like he is terrible at finding things, and i feel like i have to look after him when it comes to finding things because if he said he already looked in the sofa, his wallet is probably in the sofa

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  • crankin

    that was an amazing run-on. i hope things perk up by mid-day. sorry for the bomb i dropped. don’t freak out. i will talk to you later.

  • theteet

    and then on the way home i tried to call colleen but the signal kept dropping and i think she was trying to tell me she was a lesbian or something i wasn’t totally clear on but thankfully i got to talk to talya who is winning the Best Barista Ever comptition tomorrow and i miss my girlfriends and for some reason american idol wasn’t on last night so i watched that movie with the girl who has a machine gun for a leg which i would have enjoyed if i had had a chance to eat dinner but i didn’t because mochas are really filling but only for a few hours and then you can’t sleep but

  • Jaydubs

    Hey it could be worse — could you imagine the hassle if you’d accidentally left your purse in his car, and then he took the car, parked it in the lot at the airport, left town and you and your sister had to try to find the car and break into it to retreive said purse?


  • mom

    You do not get it from me. I have never left a shoe in someone’s car. Or left a car running for an entire weekend, or lost my passport on the flight out of the country, or lost a cell phone, or lost a purse. Need I go on? Maybe you get it from your father. I did have to drive his pants to Pennsylvania one time.

  • Rogue Agent

    Your Mom transported pants to PA for your Dad? WOW…her stock just went up again! Where in the hell do people find mates like this????

  • Dad

    You do not get it from me either. I don’t even wear shoes anymore—only moccasins.
    The pants noted above were left out of my suitcase—but not by me.

  • mandy

    Your entire family is hilarious! I love it.

    More group postings, please.

  • theteet

    unfortunately for you, mama, i was talking about my tendency to call people out on the internet in a manner that is flattering to myself.

    also unfortunately for you, you are married to a moccasin-wearing stay-at-home dad who still can’t pack his own suitcase.

    i agree with mandy.

    you guys are fun.

  • little but larger sister

    MOM…..just last week you went to work wearing 2 different pairs of boots. One black, one brown. Not even the same style. I believe Dad brought you the right one after trying to con me into it. It seems I’m the only one with brains in the family. And mine blew up… :)

    I hope dad doesn’t write back calling me an asshole….hahah