prepare your hearts and minds

Feb. 6 could really shape up to be the WORST DAY OF MY LIFE.

It is the day after Super Duper Tuesday, and Hillary Clinton and Mitt Romney have emerged as the leading presidential candidates.

 Downtrodden and deeply depressed, I learn that Seth has failed to take not-so-subtle hints suggesting that THE PERFECT Valentine’s Day present would be to SURPRISE HIS WIFE WITH TICKETS TO SEE DEMITRI MARTIN (AND WILL FERRELL) in WILL FERRELL’S FUNNY OR DIE TOUR scheduled to play at the Schott at 8 p.m. today! (Feb. 6.)

After learning that my evening will not include tickets to the Funny or Die Tour, I make a desperate campaign donation to Barack Obama, only to learn that the Northwest News reporter, strangely, for unsaid reasons, cannot attend an important meeting of the Northwest Civic Association, so I am forced to cover it for her.

America, in the days leading up to Feb. 6, I think it’s important that we understand the ramifications of what shall come to pass if you should fail.

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  • lemonscarlet

    Calm yourself. Obama is totally going to win.

  • Beth

    Do you realize you have a cousin who barely knows who Will Ferrell is and is allowed “ONE ticket per current Columbus campus student BuckID” for that Funny or Die whatevskis? And I have friends so I could probably swing two tickets if they are not the free ticket equivalent of “sold out”.

  • theteet

    ms. johnson … are you teasing me?

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