Monthly Archives: January 2008

the teevee told me to do it.

our DISH TV has a Decision 2008 application that allows you to take a pretty intense quiz that will match you with your favorite presidential candidate. Right after The Office. Or Moment of Truth, of course. I am 97 percent … Continue reading

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The Birthday Pig!

  Maybel is three years old today! She just ran three insane laps around the coffee table for no reason and stopped to barf in the middle of the floor. Happy 21, little girl!

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prepare your hearts and minds

Feb. 6 could really shape up to be the WORST DAY OF MY LIFE. It is the day after Super Duper Tuesday, and Hillary Clinton and Mitt Romney have emerged as the leading presidential candidates.  Downtrodden and deeply depressed, I … Continue reading

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whatever gets you off

Have you guys heard of Gilly Hicks, the new lingerie store by A&F? I will never let my children 1.) shop there or 2.) meet Michael Jeffries. from the Dispatch: “We believe Gilly Hicks could be a more wholesome alternative … Continue reading

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there is one thing i must mention about living in the country

Childhood obesity could very well be explained by the mile-long driveways. When you live in the country, if you are late driving to work in the big city, you will get stuck behind a school bus. There are two places … Continue reading

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wretched little turd

That is the name of my new angry-girl rock album.  Please forgive me as something like a terrible Jewel poem unfolds here. I have veins that bleed, etc. I don’t know if it’s because I haven’t seen the sun in 14 … Continue reading

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his name was oliver hyman

Bought us booze and showed us to Wal-Mart: Oliver Hyman   *** I totally worked with that dude on American Idol last night. If anybody watched the Charleston auditions and noticed the friendly looking fellow whose wife had a baby during … Continue reading

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i done been tagged

by Lemonscarlet! now I have to come up with six quirky things about myself. I wish I could use my friends’ quirks I have collected over the years: the way Seth says ‘foal’ instead of ‘full,’ the way Talya unloads a … Continue reading

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ThisWeek in Car

Let’s begin with the ride home from Cincinnati. Wait. Back up to the First Watch parking lot, where five damsels in distress — including one on crutches! –  were largely ignored. If this were a Dateline hidden camera special revealing the … Continue reading

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