let’s build something together.

Dear 2008:

Hi. We haven’t met yet. Let me introduce myself. I am theteet. One of my favorite things about blogging is the annual Year in Review, where I take my life, month by month, blog by blog, and sum up each in 12 joyful nuggets. It’s such a nice, reflective exercise, and it helps me carve out all the great moments from the year for permanent storage in my brain. Normally, enough time has passed that even the not-so-great moments are pleasantly recalled, as lessons have been gleaned, or I can at least detect proof that I was, in some way, refined by fire.

However, as I have begun this draft post of the previous year, I’ve already cried twice, thanks to your bastard brother — Shitstorm 2007.

I am writing to request that you grow up to become nothing like Shitstorm 2007.

Shitstorm 2007 is an asshole. Its lessons were not immediately learned, and its trials threaten to stretch into the new year.

No one likes to hang out with Shitstorm 2007 at parties. Everybody puts up with Shitstorm 2007 because they have to. If they had a choice, they’d probably spend their time with 2005 or 2004. Shitstorm 2007 had deaths, divorces, break-ups, mass firings, re-demotions, construction disasters, unpleasant temperatures and bleeding. brain bleeding, even.

Jesus or somebody like him says I’m supposed to be thankful for every day that i wake up and i’m not dead. He also might have said he woke up wishing he was dead, but I digress. Shitstorm 2007 has made thankfulness difficult, unless you count the three weeks where we adopted the mantra: Soak in the greatness of today, because you have no idea how terrible tomorrow will be.

2008, I will let you have deaths, cause, quite frankly, I’m sick of all these new housing developments. But please, if you wouldn’t mind, let’s refrain from the rest. 


theteet, in a new year


I would take a bullet for that man … which is good, because he wouldn’t hesitate to position me between himself and the gunman.


Our well only cost $60 to “fix,” which is much better than $1,200. This means that we won’t have to wrap up the well pump in a big red bow for Christmas.

I would diagram the problem, but you would be bored by it, if you’ve made it this far.

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