two things:

one. i had some champagne to celebrate dinner.

two. Lindsay Todd is nice.

but how nice is she?

well, let me give you an example.

today, on our way to lunch, we spotted two old ladies who were preparing to cross the street.

‘let’s yell at them!’ i said before hurling insults at the old ladies.

‘go back to the nursing home!’ i yelled. ‘you are oooooold!’

‘AARP!’

after some thought, lindsay shouts, ‘do you need heeeeelp!?’

the scene screeches to a halt. 

later, she explains, ‘if I were walking across the street, i would be offended if someone asked me if i need help.’ 

worst. old lady taunt. ever.

also, the Todd is moving to Oregon in two weeks. For those keeping track at home, that’s four vacancies in SNPLand. Parking has never been easier.

we keep talking about Nikki as if she’s dead.

‘nikki would have loved that.’

‘nikki would be laughing if she were still with us.’

etc.

she’s got that going for her. that and the money. loads and loads of money.

also, guess who’s coming to dinner?

maybel’s boyfriend!

he is black.

she keeps telling us that.

i think she is trying to rebel.

i could not stop laughing in the bathroom earlier today thinking about Arrested Development.

“I was Chereth Cutestory, a pirate lawyer. It was airtight.”

I bet people thought I was texting.

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