joke of the century:

is hereby awarded to one miss jay dubs.

This 60-second bit is necessary viewing for the proper background:

 A friend shared a story and I am going to recount a totally fictional version of it here so that I can have some fond and totally vicarious memories to read over when I’m unemployed in a few short minutes:

I had a friend who worked at a family-owned business. When a larger corporation purchased her company, my friend told me that an HR rep from the corporate offices in Minnesota or Missouri or something spent a few days in town handing out new insurance cards and overseeing all the necessary paperwork that accompanies such a huge change. Unfortunately, the HR person’s more infamous task involved sitting in on the mass firings of many employees who had worked there many decades prior to being canned. a harsh reality of capitalism.

My friend said earlier in the week that she got a company-wide email informing employees that said HR person was retiring, and that all remaining employees were — at 1 p.m. Thursday — to pose for a picture that would later be framed as a going away present for said person.

This is not a joke.

On the designated day during the designate hour, after several increasingly annoyed all-building intercom pages, a reluctant crowd shuffled out in suits and ties in the 90 degree weather, and perched themselves on the hillside to pose for the picture.

Not being one to miss out on a guaranteed awkward and potentially blogable moment, my friend traversed outside to join the crowd and could not have been more pleased with the results. She told me that the group was instructed to wave for the photo while holding up a sign, not fully knowing what the letters spelled out.

When a co-worker asked what the sign read, many chimed in with clever responses, but the Top Award goes to Jaydubs, who casually suggested that the sign most likely read ‘we’re fired.’

My friend told me that her smile in the photo was 100 percent genuine, but not in the way the management intended.

Epilogue.

My friend told me that the sign actually read “we will miss you,” and presumably the glossy 10×20 is framed on the wall of said HR person, who is tearfully recalling the trip, tracing the smiles with her fingers and regretting her stay was long enough only to rollover their 401ks and fire all their friends.

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  • http://www.10bagspacking.blogspot.com jaydubs

    Wait, your friend gets the thin veneer of anonymity, but I was unmasked at the end?? Does this mean the next time I’m at work, someone’s going to stick a “I’m fired” sign to my back?

  • Bill Melville

    How do you thank someone who only came to town to fire people?

    “Thanks for thinning the herd”

    “Old ladies who work part-time were draining our resources anyway”

    Still, “Who the hell are you?” would have been best.

    And I’m with Jaydubs —- no good superhero goes public with another’s secret identity.

    If she’s covering Sunbury Village Council next week, we’ll know why.

  • theteet

    who is jaydubs?