scared straight

When detering the sale of acerage adjacent to your property, is it okay to:
1. Allow your bulldog to bark on the porch for 45 minutes
2. Re-enact a domestic dispute (also on the porch), RE:who was responsible for burning the bean dinner.
3. Throw a bag of garbage out on the lawn.
4. Speak loudly about how your husband’s alcoholism will prevent your family from ever saving enough to keep the barn from falling further into disrepair.

I hope so, because we had some visitors who browsed a little too long. Perhaps we made the mistake of helping them feel the comforts of home?

Maybe we should have played gay or minority?


I really want my cows to play on that land. I do not care what kind of dreams the young couple remniscent of ourselves had in mind. Don’t eff with our plans, muthaeffers. Motha Eff.That swampland is ours. At fair market price. Take your manufactured home elsewhere.

(Oh my goodness, I really DO want to live in Bangs forever.)

Time for that home equity loan…

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  • Merlin

    Or you could continue to have wild, beer-guzzling parties, where said party-goers shoot high powered pistols and shotguns directly at the piece of swampland.

  • jaydubs

    I vote for that!

  • Mandy

    I’m filing these away to remember when we finally get our own piece of land for baby cows to roam, and some snot-nosed city slickers come out and want to build condos right next to it.