i’ll never see ‘em again if i squeal to the cops.

listen.

(except Mom T — cover your eyes and ears.)

My in-laws read this blog, too.

I guess I just thought all those Web hits were from Megan Pringle, Danny Russell, Claudia Schiffer and Dispatch Reporter Jim Woods. But alas, everyone in the family is reading. This is so great! Until I am excommunicated. or “disowned” (her words — not mine.)

So to set the record straight, I am not a lesbian, I did not let my godson shoot heroine while I babysat him, and yes, I do, at times, embellish. Believe me. You wouldn’t want it any other way.

The different-colored text above are links, people. Click on them.

The good news is that all this blog-chatter (henceforth: blatter) resulted in hearing my mama-in-law say “shit” (RE: Shitstorm 2007) over dinner at least twice during a mother’s day gathering in Westerville AND I got to whisper ‘menstrual cycle,’ to my father-in-law. Apparently, he doesn’t want to hear about my mensies until, as Christy says, it has, for some reason, stopped … happening. Also discussed: Is a placenta a vegetarian-friendly option? We Report. You Decide.

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  • Monsterbeard

    So you realize that many different people are reading this and you use that time to ask if placenta is a veggie-friendly option? Are you serious?

    Given that herbivores eat the placenta of their offspring, I would say yes. However, if a human were to question whether they can eat any sort of placenta and still be considered vegetarian, a resounding no.

    Mensies, unbelievable.

  • L-Jo

    you betta baleeedat.

    and i haven’t forgotten AOL conversations with Greta Cantoooooooni, eh? those transcripts make MomT look like a saint.