Company Handbook

good news, readers.
72 people popped a virtual squat here yesterday. I’m averaging about 60 visitors a day. Perhaps three or five of them were your boss — or mine!

It’s an exciting day for online diaries, as I received confirmation that not one, not two or three, but six of my bosses read this little old rag on a regular* basis. And I haven’t even been fired once. Here’s to transparency, the ACLU, freedom of the press and the internets — where any schmo can click a button and become a publisher.

Crack a joke about your promotion coming as a result of sleeping with Paul Wolfowtiz? Remain Unfired! Prompts about menstrual cycles, spontaneous baptisms and slaughtering pigs? Still employed! God Bless America.

I encourage all Bigwigs to comment. Leave your mark. Don’t operate in the shadows like some sort of Staff Advisory Recommendation Task Force or something. Speak. It only validates what I’m trying to make here — some sort of weird self-promoting reasonably-entertaining online watering hole. Plus it’s way easier to post here than make individual personal calls to all my buddies from college. And happy hours always lead to drunk-driving, so.

I guess I could text, but emoticons can only convey so much.

Anyway it’s so cute to watch all the upper managements in all the world catch on to this weblog thing. There used to be a line, maybe somewhere around 50-55, where bosses were completely unaware. That line has become increasingly blurred. The new trend with lots of my friends in the corporate world is “hey — you’re relatively young. you must know blogging. figure this out for us, would you?” The result? Millions of my friends are ‘blogging’ for ‘work.’ Suckers.

The only sad news comes from one boss, who had the audacity to suggest to my other boss that TheTeet was not linkable material for the company’s Web site.

“There’s a dead pig on there,” he says.


Apparently unlike other more famous bloggers, I am not weekly suburban community newspaper material. Maybe I’ll clean up my act by 2008. I mean June. No controversial posting after June.

*Regular is defined as “one or more times” at

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  • captain cool

    Listen, probably about 7 out of ten new visits was yours truely. I get bored at work and I pray, PRAY, that you have updated.

  • crankin

    where have you gone my friend?! i miss your whitty sarcasm.