Ladies and gentleman, this is J-Wray. Cub reporter and senior writer at SNP/CoMo/TOP/CEO/every other publication housed within these walls sans Mid Ohio Golfer(1998-2007)
You will know her by the way she loves bunnies. and vegetables. but not mushrooms. doesn’t trust the texture.
To deter her from publishing “A blog explaining why Lyndsey Teter is Pure Evil,” or at least to make her feel bad while she puts the finishing touches on it, I’ve decided to make all-encompassing list of the things I love most about Miss J-Wray.
1. She and her boyfriend Kyle are gay together.
2. J-Wray is very eloquent. She uses adult words that mesmerize me. Not “adult” like “porn” but “adult” like “one who has lived enough to maintain a decent vocabulary.”
3. She is dynamite crafter. I have seen shirts, hand towels, necklaces, scarves — and one time she told me about this baby bib she made that was totally underappriciated but likely very awesome.
4. She has a maximum capacity for crazy personal news. It’s pretty much a guarantee she will not throw hot tea in your face at the Chinese restaurant.
5. She has hilarious foot-in-the-mouth disease.
6. She lets me make uninformed jokes about Judaism, vegetarians and groups associated with preventing cruelty to animals.
7. She has a compassion for animals that could rival PETA. Except she’s not a total loony tune. (!) Once, there was this baby bird at the side of the road and she almost rescued it. If only we could channel that good will toward beast, bottle it and sprinkle it near the Middle East, there would be no more war.
8. She pretty much invented *this*
9. Cappuccino glasses, headbands, socks and ballerina shoes from target, among others.
10. An inclination for puns.
This list has been truncated.
I can’t tell you about what she told me on a car ride to Cincinnati. And I can’t really waste a bullet point on how fun her dog is. Or her boyfriend’s band. or her cupcakes. from scratch! Anyway, you get the idea.
This should be developed into a 431-part series. Better Know My Friends, anyone?
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