church.

yikes. I don’t want to speak too soon, but Jesus and I have been on two very lovely Sunday morning dates in the past two weeks. I know I need to wait two days before I call and ask him out again, but I’m excited. I think he might be The One. Plus it has been way too long since I’ve made a causingmetostumble.com joke, which, behind eternal salvation, I would argue is the No. 2 perk for believing in Christ.

We went to a tiny little country church where physical ailments on the prayer list outnumbered the congregation 2 to 1 and the discussion about so-and-so’s arthritis “which really turned out to be bursitis” went on for at least 20 minutes.

Although there were no baby baptisms this morning, (we were the only ones there under 85) there was an adorable old man who, after hearing the the preacher’s comments about “weather so cold the buzzards had retreated,” informed the crowd loudly that “aw hell — the buzzards never left!”

he obviously had his hearing aide down and made similarly entertaining comments throughout the sermon. afterward he made a joke about living “just off the square” in Bangs, which, for those thus uninformed, does not exist. I loved this man.

the strangest part about the whole thing was the collection for “Nothing but Net,” a program to provide African families with chemically-treated mosquito netting. What? That seems like way too hip a cause for this church. Is Bono here? Those white ear buds might not have been hearing aides after all…

other things i have enjoyed this weekend include: diners.
The more chair rail in a restaurant, the greater my happiness eating there. Knick knacks are a bonus, too, especially if they are holiday-related. if you’re ever in the Knox county area, I recommend High Restaurant and Spearman’s Restaurant of Howard. Yes, Howard.

and: babies other people make.
especially chunky ones. Jacob’s Second gave me a chance to snuggle with several tiny dynamite human cuddlers. we call this guy “Little Brando.” His parents are rail-thin marathon runners. Kate’s breast milk must be that good. Looks like he’s losing a sock, there, little man. Hilarious.

Seth just laid a large conglomerate of bricks at my feet as a symbol of his devotion. I took it more as a symbol that the chimney is on its way down and there is likely a hole in our roof. I am a bitch, though, so.

Gots to go see what we’re getting into now.

In the meantime, it has been said that in real life, I am “just kind of silly and incoherent,” but on my blog, I seem “somewhat witty.” Discuss.

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  • jessi

    I have only a minimal and faint archive of what you are like in real life. In your blog, you certainly are witty. Note: According to my memory of my short tenure at the Arritis Foundation, bursitis is actually a form of arthritis. There you go. A conversation starter for you with the old people at church.

  • jessi

    Thas was supposed to say Arthritis. My keyboard sucks sometimes and I don’t proofread.

  • crankin

    whitty… who told you you were whitty. it all seems rather dull to me… here and in the non-virtual world. except for when you talk about the old man in church, that was good material.