Some time ago, I began compiling a list of famous people I served on a daily basis while a long-time barista at Starbucks — a job I would hold forever if Seth would let me. Also a job where, arguably, the perks (!) were much better, even at 20 hours. Apparently, employing (and offering rock-star health benefits) to 5 billion twenty-somethings is part of a grand-slam business plan.
As I list them, I wonder why I’m not more famous than I am.
It’s probably because of the phenomenon where, unless I have my hair pulled back and am wearing some sort of green smock-like attire, I am totally unrecognizable to these people. They’ve obviously stuck with me, however. A random sampling:
- Keith Daily, spokesman for our governor-elect. Venti mocha.
- Katie Wolfe, publisher of Cbus Alive, daughter of some dude. Venti traditional, no room, double cupped.
- Frankie Hejduk, Crew/US soccer wildman and former “bestie.” Dopio espresso
- Joel Pizzuti, or “super-rich Joel,” son of downtown dweller/artcollecter/jazzy industrial complex developer Ron. He would drink whatever his hangover requested that day.
- Jim Foster, OSU women’s baskeball coach. The Dispatch and The Times — never a coffee.
- Megan Pringle, hottie newsanchor, girlfriend of Joel. Two grande nonfat lattes. I’ll never forget the story of how she cleaned out her refrigerator one weekend.
- Andrea “not as hot in real life” Cambern. I can’t remember what she drank, because I could never get over that messy hairdo.
- Don Plank, attorney for every redevelopment project ever. Grande drip.
Steve Buscemi came in once.
I think it’s time to start calling in some favors.
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