Baby showers and closets

::::i wish i could show you pictures of both. My sister-in-law/marathon runner is tall and skinny, but a very cute and comfortable preggos. You know when little boys blow up balloons on their heads? Kinda like that, only with more acting up. The good news is that once again, I’m pretty sure I’m the only Teter woman who hasn’t gotten herself knocked up. Don’t think I didn’t notice when you ordered decaf, mother of Jacob.

Bats, traffic violations, escaped pigs and a malfunctioning check valve.
::::things seth dealt with while i attended seven meetings.

Three, one, one.
::::times i’ve put my foot in my mouth at work, times i’ve had my balls busted this week, and the number of people i want to murder. (collectively, they are the digits for the city’s code violation hotline!!)

A moment ago. Sweet Lord Never. Any moment now.
::::maybel drew blood while playing the “No Corners” game with seth (in her defense, she was ‘safesies’ on base). i’ll climb mount everest for a docu-drama. i’ll end this ridiculous format.

Seriously though, why in the hell would anyone want to CLIMB in the COLD for an EXPEDITION. I’m thisclose to adding it to my list of pet peeves. FYI — When I’m 40, I’m going to be very unpleasant to hang around.

So here we are in Knox County. In Bangs. Days away from the greatest game ever to be played in the history of college football. With no running water for the next 20 minutes (See check valve mentioned above.)

If we win by more than 14 points, I’m going to be so pissed. Unlike true football fans, I long for the days circa 2002 where we OT’d every game — whether Wolverines or Bearcats — and came out on top. Every time. Do you know how good that feels?That’s the kind of football I like. Consistency only in pulling it out of your ass as the last-minute. I peed a little just thinking about it.

But alas, this is a sleeper year (remember that time we only won by 14?!?) and if I don’t get a good game on Saturday, if this is just a Texas Two…so help me, Troy Smith…

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