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Sometimes, the blog titles just flow like honey. I went with the first one that came to mind.

It has recently been brought to my attention that He Who Asks Will Also Receive.

A colleague/boss of ours recently shared this link that confirms suspicion that Samuel L. Jackson, is, in fact, god.

There are so many things left to say about this. About Snakes. About Planes. About Denzel Washington. But alas, I think I’ll let it stand on its own, as it is more than capable.

Sidenote to God: Next, can we somehow have Steve Perry trumpet in Jesus for the second coming?

In Six Buckets Farm News today we read that Wine Neighbor’s kid, the one who won’t go to Mount Vernon schools, knocked on the door last night with a terrified look on his face. Soon after, the words “do you have a pig?” rang through the house.

Yes, we have a pig.

“He’s in our garage and we’re not sure what to do,” Wine Neighbor’s Kid said.

It seems the Percy (not to be confused with Welcome to Earf’s cat) had escaped and made his way into the neighbor’s garage, which likely contained many things of great value.

Honestly, they were very nice during the whole ordeal. I wish they had been snotty, because it would have fit better into the story. Seth retrieved our pig, who had knocked over his gate, we reinforced a few things, and Percy walked cooperatively alongside my husband back into his pen.

Maybe we’ve given our neighbors something that can trump the “once there was a horse in our yard” story, because honestly, that story was really lame.

I cried a little the other night when I thought about butchering the pig. As the Ohio Farm Bureau predicted, It has happened. I love the pig. The pig is people. I felt like I could have slaughtered him the other night when he drew some blood on Maybel, but it probably would have been for the wrong reasons.

I hope by the end I won’t want to commit aggravated murder on the pig, but will have enough understanding and respect for the little guy and the circle of life to let someone slit his little throat after they stun him with electricity. I know it sounds cruel, meat eaters, but it’s reality.

Fantasy is what we want (read: talking, laughing cartoon pigs who are not actually involved in bacon) but reality is what we need (see: the blood on your hands)

I killed four spiders in the bathroom today. Apparently, the message was heard and ignored. It might be time to use chemical warfare.

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  • Mae

    You don’t have to promise, but would you seriously consider playing some Bon Jovi in my memory if you decide to have a spider killing party? Also…Lauryn would be so proud. Don’t think I didn’t notice it.