An open letter to j-do

Last night was so weird. I dreamt I went to visit you in Pittsburgh, only to find that Pennsylvania was some sort of giant theme park filled with log cabins of varying sizes. In each log cabin was a family from a different time period. In between these cabins, the streets were lined with a deep mud.

I made my way to your cabin. That guy…you know…the one you’ve had 107 dates with? He was there in 3D, which is weird, because I have seen only, what, one picture of him? Anyway, he was there in period costume, all bustled up for the kids who gathered around him. I think he was eating a large turkey leg, like at the Paul Bunyan festival. You were there, too, in a similar dress but sans the turkey leg. You and several friends led me around Pennsylvania from cabin to cabin, until I woke.

I remember feeling a bit guilty hanging out with you for so long, as we don’t really know each other that well personally, and remember feeling there were several other friends of yours waiting somewhere for you.

I’m sorry I had this long, weird dream starring you. I’m also sorry your boyfriend was dressed as a woman and eating a turkey leg in front of the children. I’m sorry I made you late to hang our with your real dream friends.

The whole thing was very disturbing.

I’m going to go ahead and rule out any sort of meaning, if that’s all right with you.

Happy trails,

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  • Monsterbeard

    That first paragraph may be the most terrifying thing I have ever read here. Especially: “In between these cabins, the streets were lined with a deep mud.”

    I fear this has far more meaning than you may have given it. Hide your children. Something is coming to gobble us up.