i can’t sleep.
if i work here another 5 years, i will probably still be making much less than a teacher or a firefighter or a librarian or a pharmacist or a lawyer or a manager at citgo or a surgeon. i will probably pull in a bit more cash than a starving artist. or an unemployed factory worker.
does this matter?
i like my job. if seth ever beats me, i don’t make enough to live on my own. but i’m not worried about that. (sorry dad, i know you told me this was a requirement, but.) so, am i supposed to like, stay here, for a few years, until something else comes along? is that how adulthood works? you just stay in one place for at least like 5 years, then you have some babies, take some time off and then come back to the same job? and then maybe get promoted or go elsewhere?
is this the deal?
you work and then you have weekends off and then you look forward to the one or two weeks a year where you don’t have to do any work? and then there is thanksgiving and christmas? and watching your nephew grow up? is that the deal?
no rotating of schedules ever 12 weeks?
i don’t get it.
all i know is that i’m 23, and these are the good years. we’re young and babyless and probably should be like, riding zebras in africa or something, right? planning a trip to europe? writing non-fiction novels? shit, man. we only have 7 more years (less than that!) until i’m 30. i’ve never been to california!
remember in athens when we composed that list our senior year of things we needed to get done before we left, i.e. Purple Chopsticks, OU basketball game…that one inn or bed and breakfast or something….and we never actually did these things, but at least we had a list and i took comfort in that. plus, a lot of other unexpected things came up like severed cat heads, trips to larry’s dawg house and ultimate frisbee games, and those needs had to be tended immediately.
in other words, i need a list. a goal. a direction. a vision.
i need one of these multi-million dollar ‘master plans’ like all the suburbs are coming up with. i don’t want to be another victim of eminent domain.
and you know what the worse part is? I NEVER LEARNED TO READ.
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