hands down, best kiss goes to seth teter. (there is another scene here, with seth on the podium, a crowd of thousands snapping pictures, national anthem playing, tears streaming down his face, second and third place equally as proud, but grumbling none the less…) and i’m not just saying that.
it was june. i was at home exhausted from an entire day spent together. we had been searching for waterfalls or canoeing or something typical like that. i got a call around 10 p.m. he said he was sorry, but he just got a last-minute offer from trevis (bottom left — watch out ladies)and the two were going to tour with byron keith for the summer. that’s another story. anyway they were leaving for nashville or the carolinas or something. in eight hours. he had to get packing.
a few minutes later, he showed up on my porch and we went for a drive. we were not yet dating.
while walking along some silent country road, we kissed for the first time. how it actually happened is still up to debate. i think it was all him. he blames me. i’ll always remember him making the first move. it took forever.
after that, he reluctantly dropped me off at home, and i didn’t see him again for quite a few weeks. this left me with plenty of time to think about what had happened. i have never been such a girl in my life. it was ridiculous. i was a lifeguard at the time. i’m pretty sure 14 children drowned while i was up in that chair, baking in the summer sun and smiling to myself.
isn’t that fun?
best hug was probably my freshman year of college. the first two weeks at OU i was completely terrified. finally one weekend, my boyfriend at the time drove the seven million hours to visit me. i remember getting the call from the callbox downstairs. i sprinted down the three flights of truedley hall stairs to greet him. we hugged the hug of two people booted from the comfortable town they’d grown up in. it was a hug of desperation and then relief. i’m pretty sure i clung to him for several hours. neither of us had any idea what we’d gotten ourselves into. i was completely unsure where i was headed. everyone can take a second to grieve if you know the rest of the story.
what else do we have?
it’s hard to pinpoint the best joke i’ve ever heard, but again, i think seth might take the prize with this one as well. There is a tie between two jokes. One was actually back in high school — the moment i set him apart as someone i ‘d want to kiss someday. and this is why. (what this says about me, you’ll have to decide.)
it was the first night of the school play. we were both stationed in the makeshift orchestra pit. he was on trombone. i had was the person on the small stool beside him who wore black and shouted out lines when amanda meriweather forgot them. it was dark and completely silent. our band director, which you will have to know to completely understand the joke, was wearing a tight black turtleneck. his nips were visible. he lifted his arms to cue the band to begin. it was a tense and serious moment. seth leaned over and whispered — “now is zee time in sprockets ven vee dance.”
lord have mercy.
I tried to delay the burst of pee until the music started. i think a little trickle made it out anyway. it was the longest half millisecond of my life.
second best joke ever is simple to explain. (mae – you can skip this paragraph) we had been dating for a while. we were eating in a german restaurant. he was served a variety of sausages. one long sausage and two smaller round sausages served on a bed of rice. someone back in the kitchen must have been bored. very provacative. if you’re with me so far, imagine the following:
seth: i don’t know if i can eat this meal. it’s not kosher.
lyndsey: (barely holding her composure as it was) what?
seth: (cutting the tip of the sausage with his fork and knife.) there we go. now it is.
what this says about me, I’ll let you decide. stay tuned next week for dancing and fighting evil with good, among others.
ok,ok. now you go.
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