this blog comes to you courtesy of one-handed typing.
remember the mangled finger from the blender incident? he now has a friend in recovery.
Today i decided that the Wal-Mart candle we have been burning for years needed a little trim. i set everything up perfectly….candle on the countertop, large butcher knife heating on the stove burner…about ten minutes into the project, i had worked almost completely around the thing (it’s a four-wicker, so it was a very tedious procedure) and was just beginning to enjoy the pumpkin pie aroma when i felt a jerk and then a small, punching sensation. it seemed i had cut off a bit of my finger.
Now, I am tough, and have had many other moments in my life when unexpected traumas have occurred. i have been brave. overly concerned about finding my missing teeth, yes, but also very brave and helpful for the paramedics. i thought i was a champ until today.
I totally passed out. almost. i mean, i sat down pretty rapidly as my finger meat started pouring out, and that’s about when everything turned white (think cinamatography in Man on Fire) and the earth sort of stopped. or maybe it started revolving extra fast, i’m not sure. learn this lesson: broken bones are way more fun than lacerations. bones, i can do, but blood and guts and finger brains…this i can barely type without gagging. ugh.
So the pointer finger on my left hand has a large chunk missing, but don’t worry, they stitched me up. if you need a visual, hold up your left hand in the shape of an L. now imagine a chunk of flesh to be missing between the second and third knuckle. from the top. and yes, that bottom one counts as a knuckle. yeeeeahhh. ow, huh? but as i said, don’t worry. they sort of just pulled the skin over. needle and thread, metal plates and screws..i’m a real bang-up job here. i just hope it doesn’t leave a scar. (ha)
No related posts.