It’s confession time.
I am convinced that I am never going to be a worthwhile person.
Last night, in the spirit of…something beyond me, or sadly, nothing but me, i went to happy hour with a confessed alcoholic friend and my sister. Then, by lure of $6 all you can drink Budweiser, we went to Oldfield’s (not our Oldfield’s Mae, the other MORE ghetto Oldfield’s on Summit, if that’s possible. and yes, the owner was there, and no, he didn’t buy me any expensive whiskey). we met up with a few old high school friends (washington court house people will forever be representing, no matter where you go) and i had way too many beers. and i was supposed to get my sister home by nine to write her paper and study for her test. and i wanted to be home and sober by then to see Seth, who has to leave again, but anyway.
now i feel like shit. AAANNNDDD my sister! who eats McDonald’s like 4 times a week? She decided to give up fast food for Lent. She also knows nothing about Lent, but instead of encouraging her in her efforts to better herself and her world, i went with her to McDonald’s within the first couple of hours she decided to give it up. i wanted a double cheeseburger. i want this. i want that. and if you get in my path, i’ll destroy you. and if you work with me and you are an alcoholic, come to the bars with me. i could use a drink. And you know what i had for lunch? Taco Bell.
you’d think if i’m not doing anything to benefit society, the least i could do is try not to spiral it further into hell. it’s not just fast food and a night out i’m talking about here. It’s something way more inherently lazy and self-serving. it’s deep inside me and its voice continues to grow louder and louder. it’s the same voice from freshman year in college. i hate that guy! perhaps seth should just hire a better babysitter.
the good news…i was able to catch up with Andrew Mowrey, who is really great and who might call when she and Kevin have dance parties in their home. i crave this.
the other good news…Courtney Ross was our bartender. In junior high we worked at the pool together and i, on several occasions, thought “if i could only have her boobs, then everything in my life would be perfect.”
Don’t tell me you haven’t thought the same thing at least once.
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