My hands smell like beef sweat.

Mae came up from Porktown tonight. It was so rad. We made her eat at Thurman’s in the Village. Together, our group consumed over 12/4 lbs of sweet beef talon.

“One thing I learned about Americans after Super Size Me,” says Miss Klingler, Gi-junda burger in hand, grease dripping off the chin, “Portion size.” Only it was more like “Pooshen eyes,” on account of the cheeseburger the size of her head. I told Seth the story, but I don’t think he heard me because he didn’t laugh and his eyes were real bulgy and watery. A few hours later, he fell off the couch, and hasn’t woken up since. MMMmmm, that coma is Thurmanbuger-licious.

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